Friday, September 25, 2009

Taking a Break

For the past 4 weeks I've been struggling with this decision. Fighting against this feeling. A feeling that something that was so important and loved has become insignificant. I'm talking about dyeing. I have to take a break from the dyeing business. I still love to dye, but the business portion has become too much for my already hectic life. The stress of finding time, space, and money has made the process as-a-hole so much less enjoyable.

Can I take time off and come back to it? I don't know.

Will I come back to it? I'm making no promises.

If and when I do come back, I want it to be enjoyable. I think I just need some time to re-organize everything. I actually said to someone "I do not have time to cook or clean or do family things because I have a business to run". Really? I got so involved in running this business that I forgot to enjoy my life. And somewhere in all the craziness, I've stopped enjoying dyeing. I love to dye, don't get me wrong, but I think I'm dyeing for all the wrong reasons.

The relief of making this decision is palpable. Because I've been dwelling on this for so long, I had no inspiration to do anything else. I've been avoiding getting online, avoiding knitting, avoiding spinning, and don't even think about stepping into the craft room. I feel unchained now. I feel like I can move my creative life in another direction.

This all came to light with a little + on a stick. The little + is the positive marker on a pregnancy test (in my case 4 pregnancy test). Paul and I have been trying for over a year to get pregnant and it finally happened. And with that + my entire view on my life has also changed. This little dyeing business has become less important. Honestly, I just want to be around friends and family and enjoy my life (which has been delayed because of the flu bug that has been circulating through the house). I don't want to be tied to the dye pots dyeing, or to the computer updating and trying to pimp my business. I want to dye when the inspiration hits and when it is suitable to my life. I want to turn my craft room back into a craft room, not the room of production that it has been. I can't even get to my sewing machine, it's surrounded by dye pans.

So how do I end a post about ending. Not sure. Just want to say that although the dyeing business has been stressful, the people I have meet have been fabulous. I truly appreciate all the wonderful support and wonderful encouragement that I have received. But don't fear, I'll still be around and still post, it might just be about more random things and more family things.

3 comments:

Morandia said...

I'm so excited about the +. I'm sad to know that you won't be dyeing yarn though - at least not for a while. Your yarn is so beautiful!

Skittl1321 said...

Congratulations on your +!

I hope you are still able to dye for fun. It's always a difficult line when you make something you love a business, and then you don't love it anymore.

Pengiknits said...

So does this mean you will have more time for us little people at Starbucks? Just kidding I love you guys!