Friday, September 25, 2009

Taking a Break

For the past 4 weeks I've been struggling with this decision. Fighting against this feeling. A feeling that something that was so important and loved has become insignificant. I'm talking about dyeing. I have to take a break from the dyeing business. I still love to dye, but the business portion has become too much for my already hectic life. The stress of finding time, space, and money has made the process as-a-hole so much less enjoyable.

Can I take time off and come back to it? I don't know.

Will I come back to it? I'm making no promises.

If and when I do come back, I want it to be enjoyable. I think I just need some time to re-organize everything. I actually said to someone "I do not have time to cook or clean or do family things because I have a business to run". Really? I got so involved in running this business that I forgot to enjoy my life. And somewhere in all the craziness, I've stopped enjoying dyeing. I love to dye, don't get me wrong, but I think I'm dyeing for all the wrong reasons.

The relief of making this decision is palpable. Because I've been dwelling on this for so long, I had no inspiration to do anything else. I've been avoiding getting online, avoiding knitting, avoiding spinning, and don't even think about stepping into the craft room. I feel unchained now. I feel like I can move my creative life in another direction.

This all came to light with a little + on a stick. The little + is the positive marker on a pregnancy test (in my case 4 pregnancy test). Paul and I have been trying for over a year to get pregnant and it finally happened. And with that + my entire view on my life has also changed. This little dyeing business has become less important. Honestly, I just want to be around friends and family and enjoy my life (which has been delayed because of the flu bug that has been circulating through the house). I don't want to be tied to the dye pots dyeing, or to the computer updating and trying to pimp my business. I want to dye when the inspiration hits and when it is suitable to my life. I want to turn my craft room back into a craft room, not the room of production that it has been. I can't even get to my sewing machine, it's surrounded by dye pans.

So how do I end a post about ending. Not sure. Just want to say that although the dyeing business has been stressful, the people I have meet have been fabulous. I truly appreciate all the wonderful support and wonderful encouragement that I have received. But don't fear, I'll still be around and still post, it might just be about more random things and more family things.


Morandia said...

I'm so excited about the +. I'm sad to know that you won't be dyeing yarn though - at least not for a while. Your yarn is so beautiful!

Skittl1321 said...

Congratulations on your +!

I hope you are still able to dye for fun. It's always a difficult line when you make something you love a business, and then you don't love it anymore.

Pengiknits said...

So does this mean you will have more time for us little people at Starbucks? Just kidding I love you guys!